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Home > Advice + Planning > Dear Karen…

Why Won’t My Guests RSVP to My Wedding?

13/03/2026 by Karen Cinnamon

Dear Karen
Sophie asks...
We sent our invitations weeks ago and our RSVP deadline is coming up fast, but barely anyone has replied. What’s making it worse is that people keep telling us how excited they are and asking about details, yet they still haven’t actually RSVPed. Why won’t my guests RSVP to my wedding?!

First of all, I want to reassure you that this is something almost every couple experiences. Truly. Couples often imagine RSVP management is going to be a quick and painless admin task. In reality, it’s more like being thrust into a part-time project management job you never applied for. 

What’s Going On

There are a whole bunch of reasons why your guests might be procrastinating on their RSVPs, but most of them center around the same core issue: while your guests are undoubtedly excited about your big day, it’s just not taking up anywhere near the space in their minds (or schedules!) that it is in yours. Especially for guests who’ve never planned a wedding themselves (or who are many decades out from their own big day), it’s probably the case that they genuinely don’t realize how important a timely RSVP is for you. Weddings are one of the few occasions in adult life where a guest is asked to commit to a date months in advance, and many people simply are not used to that level of planning ahead.

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How big should a chuppah be?

06/02/2026 by Karen Cinnamon

Dear Karen
Hannah asks...
We’re planning to build our own chuppah, but we’re totally unsure how big it needs to be. How do we figure out the right size so it looks great in our space but isn’t too awkward?

colourful-chuppah

Gena and Tony’s chuppah | Photo by Lara Hotz 

Yesss to DIY chuppahs! There’s something so meaningful about standing under a canopy you’ve built with your own hands (and if you’re looking for a full-on tutorial, we’ve got them here and here) – it really becomes a symbol of the home you’re creating together. That said, sizing it right is one of the most common questions we hear from couples. Let’s walk through how to make sure yours feels just right.

Who’s Standing With You?

The first thing you need to know is who’ll be standing under the chuppah with you. You’ll need your chuppah to accommodate a minimum of three – the two of you and your officiant. A good rule of thumb for a basic square chuppah footprint is about 5 feet x 5 feet. 

If you’re picturing parents, siblings, or anyone else standing with you, or you just want it to feel a bit more expansive, consider bumping it up to around 6 feet x 6 feet – or even larger if you have the space, depending on the size of your crowd. 

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31 Top Tips For an Awesome Jewish Wedding

10/08/2017 by Karen


Last month I set myself the challenge of posting one Jewish wedding tip by video, every single day on the Smashing The Glass Facebook page. It amounted to 31 two-minute tip videos of me talking about everything from killer wedding shoes to how to get the best out of your wedding vendors, to how to get that amazing ‘crush’ sound when you smash the glass, to the importance of keeping your family happy to literally EVERY fantastic wedding tip under the sun chuppah!

As of today (August 10, 2017), the videos have collectively been viewed well over 10,00 times, so there must have been a few nuggets in there! As such, I thought it would be a good idea to post them all here for you to enjoy in one place. 

Let me know which one’s your favorite? Happy Planning!


Tip #1 Incorporate meaningful things into your wedding

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The legal requirements of a Jewish wedding ceremony in the UK

05/08/2015 by Karen

legal-requirements-of-a-Jewish-wedding-ceremony

Granted  it’s  not the most exciting of topics, but one that definitely needs addressing, so thank you, Emily, for highlighting it! I asked  Emily  to provide me with an exact list of questions that she wanted answering and  then called upon the expertise of STG regular, the wonderful Rabbi Paul Glantz  to  shed light on the the legal requirements of a Jewish wedding ceremony in England, and the UK.

For any American readers, or brides holding  a  destination Jewish wedding in the USA, a post detailing  the legal requirements of a Jewish wedding in the USA will be up on the blog in he coming weeks  too.

farmhouse-wedding
Deborah & Hernan’s  Jewish wedding in a farmhouse.  See the full wedding here :: Image by York Place Studios

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How to make your friends and family feel extra special at your wedding

07/12/2014 by Karen

creative wedding ideas

Smashing The Glass is all about super creative Jewish (and Jew-ish) weddings packed with individuality and personal details so you’ve definitely come to the  right place for inspiration!

I’ve come up with lots of creative ideas for you with everything from innovative ways  to include  friends, family and little ones in your ceremony to making them feel ultra special at your reception

Ceremony ideas

A lovely way to get your closest friends and family involved is to have them contribute to your chuppah design. Ask guests  to contribute different squares (tell them what size is required or  supply a blank piece of square material sized correctly) and patchwork them together to make one big chuppah canopy.

Cheryl and Ernest’s  beautiful personalised chuppah quilt (below) is an example that’s made out of the clothes of the bride’s mother who sadly passed away, and other momentous pieces including her grandmother’s wedding dress and a shirt her mum had kept of her grandfather’s after he had died, but the same quilt style could be used by asking friends and family to each  contribute  a square, and sewing them altogether.

quilted-chuppah
Image: Daniel C. Photography from Cheryl & Ernest’s Jewish wedding

Or do what my husband and I did  where we  asked some of our guests to contribute to our chuppah design by asking them to compose a short message (in English or Hebrew) that we then incorporated into our chuppah canopy design.

This was also a lovely way of including guests from abroad that weren’t able to attend in person. We also chose four significant people to hold each of the four chuppah poles including Sharon, our Irish Catholic mutual friend that set us up (chuppah holders don’t have to be Jewish). Perhaps your fiancà©e’s best friend could do that? Everyone we asked felt very honoured!

personal chuppah
Image: Earthy Photography  from my own  Jewish wedding

Another ‘ceremony’ idea is to replace the traditional  Sheva Brachot (seven blessings) with prayers  by  all your friends personalised for you, then have each friend came up and read their own prayer. Chelm and Jake did that in their Jewish wedding — have a read of their wedding post for  many more ideas of how to involve friends and family. And even if you don’t want to personalise the seven blessings, you can still ask  seven different friends or cousins to read each blessing for you at the chuppah.  People comfortable reading Hebrew can  read the blessing in Hebrew, while non-Jewish friends can always  read an English translation.

Wedding reception  ideas

A lovely  way to make your guests feel super special is to incorporate another detail that I did for my wedding. My husband and I  knew we wouldn’t have a lot of time to talk to everyone on the day, so we spent some time before the wedding writing personal notes to everyone at the wedding which we then had printed underneath their names on their menus / name cards. It took a bit of time but we really wanted each and every guest to realise how much we wanted them there and what they meant to us.

personal wedding messages
Images: Earthy Photography  from my own  Jewish wedding

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